"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."Andy Rooney on Emo Philips
"Computers are like Old Testament gods lots of rules and no mercy."Andy Rooney on Joseph Campbell
"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image."Andy Rooney on Stephen Hawking
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."Andy Rooney on Pablo Picasso
"I think it's fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we've ever created. They're tools of communication, they're tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user."Andy Rooney on Bill Gates
"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."
"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."
"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."
"The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread."
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