"My nickname for my mom was 'The Compass.'"
"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."Dane Cook on George Washington
"The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children."Dane Cook on Jessica Lange
"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."Dane Cook on Mark Twain
"Men are what their mothers made them."Dane Cook on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.' Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso."Dane Cook on Pablo Picasso
"I'm glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere."
"Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there."
"I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up."
"Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince."
"My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare."
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