"You can't show me an ad on TV with hard bodies and say I have to buy that car. You have to tell me why that car is better and safer than another car."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Doris Roberts on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Doris Roberts on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Doris Roberts on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Doris Roberts on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Doris Roberts on Steven Wright
"With my talent, I can make people laugh and give them another attitude about life. What a blessing that is for me."
"Humor is imperative, more important than food. You have a choice when someone dies. You can lie down or get back into life. Do something for someone else."
"I'm learning something all the time. That's the way I want it to go, and that's the way I'll go until I am no longer on this planet."
"I used to sit near Marilyn Monroe in the Actor's Studio. She'd get dressed up because that was her identity. Sad. Those cameras wouldn't leave her alone. She didn't know where to hide."
"Everybody's a teacher if you listen."
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