"God created man, but I could do better."
"Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right."Erma Bombeck on Abraham Lincoln
"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls."Erma Bombeck on Mother Teresa
"When the solution is simple, God is answering."Erma Bombeck on Albert Einstein
"While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation."Erma Bombeck on Maya Angelou
"Never trust anyone completely but God. Love people, but put your full trust only in God."Erma Bombeck on Lawrence Welk
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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