Quotes by Garrison Keillor
- A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
- A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
- Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
- God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
- I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.
- Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
- Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.
- Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
- They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
- Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.