"I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt."
"Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present."Groucho Marx on Roger Babson
"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."Groucho Marx on Abraham Lincoln
"Lost time is never found again."Groucho Marx on Benjamin Franklin
"Patience and time do more than strength or passion."Groucho Marx on Jean de La Fontaine
"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."Groucho Marx on C. S. Lewis
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
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