"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."Groucho Marx on Mignon McLaughlin
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."Groucho Marx on Socrates
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."Groucho Marx on Friedrich Nietzsche
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."Groucho Marx on Oscar Wilde
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without."Groucho Marx on James C. Dobson
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
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