"I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Jimmy Fallon on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Jimmy Fallon on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Jimmy Fallon on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Jimmy Fallon on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Jimmy Fallon on Elbert Hubbard
"I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed."
"We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot while the film was still rolling, going 90 mph."
"My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn't let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can't dribble on grass."
"I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets... then I got to 'Saturday Night Live' where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I'm going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I'm gonna go sit with."
"If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice."
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