"As a freelance writer, I'd be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things."
"I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead."John Hodgman on Oscar Wilde
"You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."John Hodgman on Ronald Reagan
"It's difficult to believe that people are still starving in this country because food isn't available."John Hodgman on Ronald Reagan
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."John Hodgman on Yogi Berra
"Beware the hobby that eats."John Hodgman on Benjamin Franklin
"I think that obviously, there is a perverse attraction to a fundamentally changed world or the end of the world. There is a death wish, a perverse death wish. Not just for ourselves, not just for the movie 'Death Wish,' but for the end of all human life."
"When you think about it, the end of the world is a little bit like death: We all know it's going to come eventually, and as we get older, we feel we see the signs more and more distinctly."
"People who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have."
"One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably."
"People forget how outcast 'They Might Be Giants' can be. They have a reputation for writing really deft, funny, clever melodies, and they also make a lot of music for kids, which is terrific, but when you see them in concert, they can rock the house."
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