"My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn't come home."
"Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country."Johnny Vegas on Margaret Thatcher
"A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body."Johnny Vegas on Benjamin Franklin
"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."Johnny Vegas on Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."Johnny Vegas on Bill Cosby
"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in."Johnny Vegas on Robert Frost
"I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough."
"I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind."
"You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is."
"I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he's never mentioned it - you just find out. That's a real man to me. A sleeping lion."
"My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with."
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