"I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor."
"Film spectators are quiet vampires."Jon Stewart on Jim Morrison
"Am I a romantic? I've seen 'Wuthering Heights' ten times. I'm a romantic."Jon Stewart on Johnny Depp
"You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."Jon Stewart on Steve Martin
"This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country."Jon Stewart on Clint Eastwood
"Movies can and do have tremendous influence in shaping young lives in the realm of entertainment towards the ideals and objectives of normal adulthood."Jon Stewart on Walt Disney
"The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1."
"McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done."
"I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else."
"I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food."
"If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that."
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