"One Christmas build-up tradition, however, has totally bypassed me - that of going up to town and 'doing a show.'"
"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas."Julie Burchill on Calvin Coolidge
"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree."Julie Burchill on Roy L. Smith
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."Julie Burchill on George Carlin
"Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store."Julie Burchill on Dr. Seuss
"A good conscience is a continual Christmas."Julie Burchill on Benjamin Franklin
"I am firmly of the opinion that women who make a lot of effort to hang onto their looks in middle age (unless they are beauties, entertainers or prostitutes) are rather sad, as one should surely have something more substantial to recommend one by this time, such as kindness or cleverness."
"As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I never converted to Catholicism, happily, but I did do one thing he did. That is, in middle age I moved to a seaside town and got into a right barney with the local powers-that-be."
"As a child, I wanted only two things - to be left alone to read my library books, and to get away from my provincial hometown and go to London to be a writer. And I always knew that when I got there, I wanted to make loads of money."
"Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable."
"My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown."
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