"When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio?"
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."Julie Burchill on Eleanor Roosevelt
"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."Julie Burchill on Marilyn Monroe
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."Julie Burchill on Friedrich Nietzsche
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."Julie Burchill on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."Julie Burchill on John Lennon
"I am firmly of the opinion that women who make a lot of effort to hang onto their looks in middle age (unless they are beauties, entertainers or prostitutes) are rather sad, as one should surely have something more substantial to recommend one by this time, such as kindness or cleverness."
"As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I never converted to Catholicism, happily, but I did do one thing he did. That is, in middle age I moved to a seaside town and got into a right barney with the local powers-that-be."
"As a child, I wanted only two things - to be left alone to read my library books, and to get away from my provincial hometown and go to London to be a writer. And I always knew that when I got there, I wanted to make loads of money."
"Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable."
"My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown."
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