"As you get older, things conk out. It's a bit like a car. As long as it's something the mechanics can fix, you can chug on for a few more thousand miles."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Len Goodman on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Len Goodman on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Len Goodman on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Len Goodman on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Len Goodman on Steven Wright
"On the dance floor, as much as you say, 'Ladies, you are the car. He is the driver. You can only go where he takes you,' they still try to be in control."
"I've never really been very good at marriage. It's one of my failures. I've tried my best, but I do realise the common denominator is me it's something I'm doing."
x Share us on Facebook