"You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Lily Tomlin on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Lily Tomlin on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Lily Tomlin on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Lily Tomlin on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Lily Tomlin on Elbert Hubbard
"Remember we're all in this alone."
"We're all in this alone."
"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?"
"The best mind-altering drug is the truth."
"Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed."
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