"As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."P. J. O'Rourke on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."P. J. O'Rourke on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."P. J. O'Rourke on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."P. J. O'Rourke on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."P. J. O'Rourke on Elbert Hubbard
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