"If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult."
"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."P. J. O'Rourke on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties."P. J. O'Rourke on Helen Keller
"Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness."P. J. O'Rourke on William Shakespeare
"Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough."P. J. O'Rourke on Mark Twain
"New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time."P. J. O'Rourke on James Agate
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