"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
"Great minds discuss ideas average minds discuss events small minds discuss people."Rita Rudner on Eleanor Roosevelt
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."Rita Rudner on Albert Einstein
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."Rita Rudner on William Shakespeare
"One sees great things from the valley only small things from the peak."Rita Rudner on Gilbert K. Chesterton
"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope."Rita Rudner on Winston Churchill
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
"I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again."
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"
"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."
"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
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