"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."Rita Rudner on Robert Frost
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."Rita Rudner on Buddha
"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too."Rita Rudner on Will Smith
"Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it."Rita Rudner on Sai Baba
"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."Rita Rudner on George Bernard Shaw
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
"I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again."
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"
"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."
"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
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