"(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Tallulah Bankhead on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Tallulah Bankhead on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Tallulah Bankhead on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Tallulah Bankhead on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Tallulah Bankhead on Steven Wright
"I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone."
"I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education."
"Television could perform a great service in mass education, but there's no indication its sponsors have anything like this on their minds."
"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."
"Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time."
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