"My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun."
"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."Tom Lehrer on Elbert Hubbard
"Don't walk behind me I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."Tom Lehrer on Albert Camus
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."Tom Lehrer on Buddha
"Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."Tom Lehrer on Muhammad Ali
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."Tom Lehrer on Oprah Winfrey
"It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years."
"When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex."
"Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh."
"Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize."
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