"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
"A wise and frugal Government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government, and this is necessary to close the circlue of our felicities."Will Rogers on Thomas Jefferson
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."Will Rogers on Winston Churchill
"I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country."Will Rogers on Thomas Jefferson
"Government is not reason it is not eloquent it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master."Will Rogers on George Washington
"Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil in its worst state, an intolerable one."Will Rogers on Thomas Paine
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."
"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
"The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'"
"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."
"The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you."
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