"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."Woody Allen on Mignon McLaughlin
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."Woody Allen on Socrates
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."Woody Allen on Friedrich Nietzsche
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."Woody Allen on Oscar Wilde
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without."Woody Allen on James C. Dobson
"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"
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