Sex and Relationships

How we get it wrong in bed

What makes a woman good in bed? We would all like to think that we're great in bed, but the fact is most women get it wrong on occasion.

Find out what men think are our biggest sexual sins:

We don't know enough about their bits

Men complain that we are too coy about sex and haven't taken the time to find out how to please a man. Do a bit of research - buy a sex book and study it - and then have fun experimenting with what you've learnt. Touch and test the areas that are meant to feel good when stimulated. Your man will appreciate the effort you've gone to!

We expect men to be mind readers

There's no point expecting your man to know intuitively what you want him to do in bed. You'll both end up frustrated. Just because someone knows you well and wants to please you, doesn't mean they have access to a crystal ball. Let you partner know exactly what you want him to do - communication is a really important part of great sex. Don't be shy - speak up or forever lie back and think of England!

We only seem to like sex at the beginning - once the relationship is serious we lose interest

Guys think that it means that we're not interested in sex at all - that we fake it until we've got him and then we drop the act. The fact is that many women simply get bored of sex if there's no variety. If we're stuck in the same sexual routine then it stops being fun. Instead of just going along with it, why not try spicing things up for yourself and your partner? Vary just one thing every time you have sex. It might be a different position, a new room, the lights on or off, dressed or half-dressed - just use your imagination!

We leave it all up to him

Q: What's the difference between making love to your long-term girlfriend and eating a bowl of spaghetti?

A: At least the spaghetti moves so you know it's alive.

Some women think it's not only his job to initiate sex, it's his job to do all the work during it as well! Start taking a more active role in sex or else you'll both end up bored and frustrated. Take the lead by seducing him occasionally and taking control during foreplay. If you really want to impress him, initiate sex when he least expects it!

We are too worried about our bodies to really enjoy sex

Worrying too much about how you look will leave you inhibited and feeling extremely unsexy. Men really aren't as bothered by body shape as we think they are. Although it's equally important to try to look your best, hiding imperfections under the duvet or in the dark will have the opposite of the desired effect. In a US survey, women with a positive body image said they had orgasms 73% of the time, whereas self-conscious women reached orgasm only 42% of the time. Being a good lover is about feeling confident. Feel sexy and you'll be sexy!