Sex and Relationships

I have recently discovered that my husband...

I have recently discovered that my husband has been having an affair and this has in effect ended our marriage...

We had already tried a trial seperation to try and sort out 'our problems'. These problems started out of the blue about 10 months ago, but were obviously linked to his having an attraction for her. He has now begun telling his family about her, telling them that he has only just started seeing her, and that we were over anyway.

I, however, am now aware that this affair has been going on for some time. He met this woman through work and I have been told that she is known as being easy and that she has offered herself to other married men 'on a plate'.

How could he give up a stable and, I thought, happy marriage with a young child, for someone with obviously no morals who can happily come between a man and his family. Is he looking for new excitement that may be lacking in an 8 year marriage? I hope you can help me because he doesn't seem to be able to.

You've conceded that your husband's affair has, in effect, ended your marriage and that your relationship was in trouble before now. Trial separations are almost always a prelude to a full breakup. It seems to me that you now have to use that sorry fact as a starting point and move on. It doesn't seem to me like he's making any attempt to curtail his affair or to attempt any reconcilation with you. Quite the opposite if he's now on verge of introducing her to his family.

Your priorities and concerns now must be yourself and your child. It sounds harsh but you should start to accept the fact that you may face legal and financial issues in the coming months and years and make sure that you get appropriate advice from a solicitor now to ensure you make the best of a bad situation and that there is adequate provision for you. Emotionally, you'll need all the support of friends and family during a difficult time. One day your husband may come to regret his actions, but right now your only responsibility is to yourself, your child and your future without him.