Sex and Relationships

Sizzling sex at 60

After you hit 50, sex could well fall down your list of priorities in life.

There are lots of reasons, both physical and psychological, why your sex drive may go off the boil but they are nearly always treatable.

Tackle them and watch your sensual side come out of retirement.

Beat the blues

Depression affects sex drive. Everyone feels a bit down at times but if you're feeling sad for days or have feelings of despair, you should visit your doctor.

Depression is an illness and nothing to feel ashamed of. Your doctor will help you decide whether medication, counselling or a combination of both could be suitable.

Ditch the energy zappers

Tiredness is guaranteed to make sex seem like too much trouble. To maximise your energy, cut out smoking as it hinders blood flow to vital areas.

Watch how much you drink. A glass of wine can make you feel relaxed, but too much will knock you out.

And there's nothing like a bit of exercise to boost your sex drive. Relate counsellor and sex therapist Denise Knowles says: "Besides boosting levels of feel-good chemicals, it'll help you stay in shape, making you feel sexier."

Get personal

It's difficult to feel sexy if your relationship is in a rut or you have grown apart, so set aside time each week to talk about your feelings and needs.

Denise says: "While sex isn't the be-all and end-all and many couples are happy with companionship as they get older, it's still important to stay close. We all have a need to touch and be touched, and regular cuddles are a great way to reinforce feelings of love."

Dismiss the droop

Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects around 50 per cent of men over 45 at some point.

In around 70 per cent of these cases, there's an underlying physical health problem such as diabetes, heart disease or poor circulation, so it's vital to see a GP.

Sometimes psychological issues such as stress or feeling under pressure to perform play a role but in most cases drugs such as Viagra can help restore your sex life. Don't be tempted to buy off the net - it's not suitable for everyone and many drugs sold illegally aren't genuine and could be dangerous.

Pack away pain

Painful sex may be due to infection, drug side effects or vaginal dryness - a common symptom of the menopause.

Try a lubricating jelly such as KY Jelly or a cream that helps to replace lost moisture, such as Replens Vaginal Moisturiser.

Manage the menopause

Symptoms may begin up to 10 years before you reach the menopause at 50. As your body stops producing oestrogen, your interest in sex naturally diminishes. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) can be effective, helping to give your sex drive a boost as well as reducing symptoms such as hot flushes.

There are lots of treatments, including sprays and patches, so consult your GP.

Banish guilt

Just because you're the wrong side of 50 doesn't mean that you shouldn't want sex.

"There's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy your sensual and sexual side for as long as you're willing - and able!" says Denise.

"You may even find your sex life is more enjoyable now without worries about pregnancy, kids or personal insecurities holding you back."

Check your medication

Certain drugs are known to lower your libido so it's worth checking out side effects.

Culprits include medicines for heart disease, blood pressure, arthritis and high cholesterol amongst others. Ask your GP if there's an alternative medication.

Test your hormones

Testosterone is important for sex drive in women and men and a deficiency can lead to a dwindling interest.

Other symptoms include depression, fatigue, memory and concentration problems. See your GP for blood tests.

More information

Contact your GP or local sexual health clinic for confidential help and advice or visit www.relate.org.uk.

Source: Daily Mirror