Sex and Relationships

The seven deadly sins of marriage

There's more to ruining a marriage than having an affair.

Seemingly trivial things can add up over the years. Don't fall prey to these seven sins in your relationship.

Sin one: Assuming

Most couples that have been together for a long time speak in a form of shorthand. The danger is that it often leads to assuming you know what he means without actually listening.

A lack of understanding inevitably causes unnecessary rows.

Solution: Give each other time to finish sentences and be careful about how you express yourself. And if you're on the receiving end - listen!

Sin two: Undermining

Putting each other down in front of friends and family is an easy habit to get into.

This builds up resentment, especially if you try to get others on your side by pointing out your partner's failings in public.

Solution: Confront the real problem between you - whether it's sex, kids, work, money or lack of love. Moaning, without acknowledging what's really going on, traps you in a cycle of bitterness that's hard to break.

Sin three: Thoughtlessness

Persistently irritating your partner, despite being requested not to, leads to nagging and resentment.

Solution: If something really matters to you, explain it seriously and calmly to your partner. It's the only way to get the point across.

Sin four: Pride

Being too proud to admit when you're wrong doesn't make you principled, it makes you pig-headed. Until you both can be equally gracious and say sorry when you're wrong, you and your partner will never be as happy as you could be.

Solution: Ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen if you admit you're wrong, or scared? Is your partner going to laugh in your face and abandon you - or will they also back down, and meet you halfway? Saying sorry doesn't make you weak, it makes you human.

Sin five: Laziness

It's a worrying sign in a relationship when you stop bothering to do anything together. Laziness leads to never looking nice for each other, never trying anything new, and it can mean you're in danger of falling into a rut and out of love.

Solution: Laziness creeps up without you noticing. Instead of always taking the easy option, take control. Switch the telly off and talk, get a babysitter and go out, give each other a massage one night, or buy a bottle of wine and set the table nicely for dinner.

Sin six: Control

Trying to control your partner by using emotional blackmail, or threats, to stop them having a life that you don't approve of is a rocky road. It may get your way in the short-term, but no adult will put up with it forever.

The more freedom somebody has, the happier and more appreciative they are to come home to a loving partner.

Solution: If you act like your partner's keeper, you'll be seen as restricting their freedom and that's the beginning of the end.

Sin seven: Taking for granted

We all take each other for granted sometimes, but not saying thank you for an act of kindness is plain selfish.

Solution: Ask yourself how you'd like to be thanked when you do something nice and make sure you do the same. Words of appreciation oil the wheels of marriage, so never assume your partner knows you're grateful.

Source: The Mirror