Sex and Relationships

Having her cake and eating it

My wife said that she was unhappy and needed space. She stays at home and wants for nothing. She says Im a devoted husband and father but shes unhappy. Now after two weeks living apart she asks if I mind if she sees other people to discover herself and if she loves me.

I think I already know the answer to that! But my self-dignity and confidence is low and I feel awful. How can I ever trust or love anyone? My friends say it takes time but I feel so low. She has everything she wants: space, time, the house, car, the kids, who I get to see only when its convenient for her.

If shes asking if I mind her seeing anyone else, she already wants to or is. What can I do?

As you have said - you know the answer. Deep within yourself you know that her actions are unfair. It seems you have bent over backwards to accommodate her needs and yet she still asks for more. How much more can you give? Youve already given her everything - including your self-respect.

You need to put a time limit on her journey of self-discovery. Sit down with her and explain how you feel, that you understand she needs space but seeing someone else is an affair. Does she see the break as a means to explore herself or to explore other men? If she wants to start seeing other people, then the relationship is over and you will have to face that.

As your friends have said, this takes time and the only way you can get your dignity back is to start thinking of yourself.