Sex and Relationships

I'm too nice to date

I am a very open-minded person. I've been travelling and see myself as a very confident person. I have friends from various backgrounds (both from home and work). I've built up a respectable relationship with people and I hope there isn't anyone I know, that doesn't like me.

'So what's the problem?' I hear you ask. Well I have a few friends that are girls. Nice people. They feel they can come and talk to me about anything cos I am understanding and as afore-mentioned approachable.

I can be 'jack-the-lad' when I'm with the boys, but then I can really sit down and listen to a girl too - my sensitive side. I've got no problem buying flowers and I know that Clarin's bath products are a sure way to a girls heart!

Alot of my friend's parents like me too. 'He's such a nice boy. He can come round whenever he wants.' I've got a good outlook on life. A good job that pays well and try to make as much time as possible for personal stuff outsde of work.

Again, I hear you ask.' What's the problem then?' I'm getting there. Given all the above, my dating record is basically non-existant, and I don't understand why. Anytime I've got interested in a girl I get 'We get along really well as friends, I don't want to ruin it.' Albeit, there is nothing wrong with friends, but I've got lots of those. What I really want is a girlfriend. A long-lasting one at that.

What can I do to stop appearing so much as a good mate and show girls I'm seriously interested from the on-set? And even better, for girls to appear interested in me.

Dire need of help....

I totally understand because Ive had the same problem.

I have lots of male friends and I can talk to them about anything. They ask me for advice about women and they basically treat me like one of the lads.

But in cases where I've gotten close to one of them and Ive come clean about my feelings, I've often been rebuffed. The usual line is: "I can't. You're like a sister to me."

After years of wondering where I've been going wrong my mum made the following observation: "Youre too nice and too honest for your own good!"

I think youre probably too nice/honest for your own good too.

Because of this people see you as a soft touch and take advantage of your caring nature. Im sad to say this but no one really wants to date the nice, safe and reliable guy because wheres the challenge in that?

Men and women like their partners to be mysterious, dangerous, unpredictable and a bit aloof. Ultimately this will make you more interesting, sexy and a lot more desirable.

Crazy I know! But if you want to get on in the dating game you have to learn the rules and play the game.

Im not saying you should undergo a personality transplant and turn into a complete insensitive bastard overnight. All Im saying is hold back on giving too much of your more endearing and sweet qualities right away and toughen up a bit. Finally, don't hang around with the ladies so much (because we will take advantage - especially if youre buying all those wonderful gifts!)

Remember you're a lean, mean dating machine! ;o)