Sex and Relationships

My wife has lost interest in sex

My wife is 51 and went through the change a couple of years ago. Our sex life has gone downhill in the last 18 months.

Even when we do make love she doesn't hold me or hardly participates. She says she loves me but does not feel remotely like making love. Our sex life was a bit " 2 or 3 times a month" but it was brilliant and adventurous, but now it's once every couple of months and even then I feel she's just doing it for a peaceful life.

I've asked her to seek help with me but she just won't discuss it, which in turn gives me the impression that she doesn't care about our relationship. We've been together over 30 years.

Could she be like this as a result of the change and is there help out there? I feel that she would be embarrassed to seek advice from the doctors.

It is not uncommon for women who have gone through the menopause to lose interest in sex. Some women don't feel like having sex, whereas others find their orgasms become less intense.

The menopause causes women to stop producing certain sex hormones with the result that the glands in the vagina don't produce as much lubrication as before and this may cause discomfort during sex.

As you can see what your wife is going through is perfectly normal. The best thing you can do is to be very supportive and loving. No doubt she feels just as distressed and confused as you are about her lack of sex drive.

However there are effective treatments such as HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy)which can help with this problem. If your wife is too embarassed to discuss the problem you can both find useful advice on the net.

A good place to start is a website like http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/ which has lots of useful advice.

Other than that, is there anything you can do to make sex more romantic and special to really get her into the mood? Take her out and treat her, make her feel happy and relaxed - you may find that this will help.

Whatever you do, don't think that she doesn't care about your relationship. The menopause is a very difficult time for any woman.

Good luck with your problem!