Sex and Relationships

My wife is exchanging texts with another man

My wife has been exchanging text messages for several months with a man she was teaching to drive.

The content and tone of these messages (the few that I saw from him) were over friendly and usually finished with kisses.

In one month in particular they exchanged over 60 txt messages and when I challenged her over it she addmitted they were only friends but her feelings for him had grown.

She says nothing has happened between them and they only saw each other on a driving lesson.

The txts stopped for a few weeks but have now started up again, all beit on a smaller scale.

I have asked her to stop but she is reluctant to do so and is unhappy because I am not happy about her keeping in contact with him.

He is divorced and has a girlfriend and several other females he txts and when I challenged him he says it was only a bit of fun and didn't realise my wife was taking it so serious.

He has stopped txting her now but she blames me for spoiling her fun.

I would appreciate a little advice as I have been married 15 years and have 2 boys and I feel I am losing my wife slowly but surely.

Text messaging and email are a great and convenient way of keeping in touch with friends and loved-ones, but because of their written form they can often be misunderstood and taken out of context.

I think the text messages you have seen between your wife and her friend are a prime example of this. If your wife was going to have an affair do you really think she would conduct the love affair via text message, brazenly flaunting it in your face? I think not. They were just having a bit of flirtatious fun.

I can understand you love your wife and that you have invested over 15 years of your life in this relationship, and there is always going to be that desire to keep her to yourself.

But you have to learn to control your jealous feelings and learn to trust your wifes judgment. She told you he was just a friend and you have to believe her. Because if you continue with your persistent, obsessive and intrusive behaviour you will only drive her away, and she might be tempted to go and have that affair after all.

And who would blame her!

I think in this situation you proved your point and you got what you wanted, the learner driver friend has since left your wife alone, but in her eye's you've spoilt her fun and made her look like a sad married woman desperate for attention.

I say put the whole scenario behind you and talk to your wife, tell her you love and trust her. If she's looking for a bit of excitement and flirtation why don't you send her a few sexy and suggestive text messages of your own? Embrace technology - don't see it as the tool out to wreck your marriage.