12:20 08 February 2006
Whilst men discuss the gory details of their sexual encounters with their friends, women will discuss the finer points of their relationships - including all your faults and flaws.
But fear not, this potentially terrifying prospect can be turned to your advantage. Pay attention to the 10 most common mistakes men make in bed and soon her friends will be hearing about how fantastic you are.
1 - Not setting the scene
You don't need to be a film director to work out the importance of set. Seduction can be made that little bit easier if she doesn't have to fight her way through the dirty laundry and half empty pizza boxes on the bedroom floor.
Tidy up a bit, dim the lights, put on some nice mood music, and pour her a glass of wine. Just don't go to far. There is a fine line between smooth and making the place feel like a sex haven. If she thinks you're too much, she'll make a run for it whilst you're crushing the ice for your cocktails.
2 - Skipping foreplay all the time
Getting caught up in the heat of the moment might be fulfilling but it is quite different from pouncing on her out of nowhere and cutting straight to the chase on a regular basis.
Sometimes, she needs a little appetizer before the main course. Take your time and concentrate on those passionate kisses and lustful caresses. It could make all the difference.
3 - Moving too fast
You're quite capable of practicing restraint. You have to do it all the time, even though you both know what you would like to be doing whilst you're on the dinner date, there is no need to rush. So, why move it so fast when you get to the bedroom?
Practicing restraint in bed will only get her hotter, making her want you even more. So learn to pace yourself and enjoy everything the moment has to offer. You'll both be happy you did.
4 - Ignoring her body language
Although a woman may initially be too shy to tell you exactly what she wants in bed, her body language will give her away.
It is up to you to pay attention to her telltale signs until she is comfortable enough with you to really open up verbally. So don't treat her like a blow-up doll and have your way with her.
5 - Wanting to try too many things at once
Most women have an adventurous side and are willing to try new things in bed once they trust their lover enough.
But, if you ever want her to reach that point with you, the last thing you should do is force the issue too soon into the relationship. Doing so may blow your chances of her ever considering the idea again.
6 - Disrespecting her
Despite what you see in porno movies and, to a lesser extent, on MTV, women don't particularly want to be disrespected in bed. Although they might go along with it to please you at first, doing so may eventually cause them to feel uncomfortable, and even resentful.
So make sure that before you call her any derogatory names or engage in rough play that you have her wholehearted consent.
7 - Being too bossy
While communicating your preferences is important, so is going with the flow and doing what feels right.
So, don't bark out orders like a drill sergeant and expect her to comply without question. Sex is supposed to be fun and free, not unpleasant and stressful.
8 - Forgetting her erogenous zones
The chances are you will rarely forget about her breasts. Unfortunately, it is easy to forget that a woman's body is full of less obvious erogenous zones.
Next time you're in bed with your woman, try kissing her collar bone, where her shoulder meets her neck, gently running your fingers along her back, caressing and kissing her hips, or teasing the soles of her feet, it may provoke a reaction that you both can enjoy.
9 - Assuming she's satisfied
At least make an effort to please her.
Just because you enjoyed it doesn't mean that she's satisfied. Remember that there is another person there with you who would also like to bask in that afterglow.
Look at it this way, if she is just as satisfied as you, she will likely be too spent for "pillow talk" and want to take a nap with you.
10 - Bailing afterwards
Taking off on a woman after having sex with her is among the most rotten things a guy can do. Not only do you look like a jerk, but just think about how she's left feeling.
If you can't stand a woman enough to spend the night with her and not bail on her before sunrise, then you'll have to deal with the aftermath when she tells all her friends.
On the other hand you could always pick women who you could actually be bothered to look at for those few hours more.
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