"So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Al Yankovic on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Al Yankovic on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Al Yankovic on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Al Yankovic on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Al Yankovic on Elbert Hubbard
"When I go to my live shows it's often a multigenerational audience, a family bonding experience."
"In the '80s, I was putting out an album virtually every year, I think mostly based on fear - that if I didn't, people would soon forget about me."
"People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'"
"I have a long-standing history of respecting artists' wishes."
"One of my pet peeves is that sometimes the talents of my band get overlooked because, and it was the same problem that Frank Zappa had, with a lot of groups that use humor, people don't realize there's a lot of craft behind the comedy."