"I don't drive around London much. Any journey around Islington involves hundreds of speed bumps that seem to tear the bottom of your car off."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Alan Davies on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Alan Davies on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Alan Davies on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Alan Davies on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Alan Davies on Steven Wright