"By the way, movies are like sporting events in that you're as good as the movie you're in. You can sit in a room for 20 years and go do a movie and you can just kill in it and you move to the head of the line again. By the same token, you can do five movies a year and if they're dreck, it's nothing."
"Film spectators are quiet vampires."Albert Brooks on Jim Morrison
"Am I a romantic? I've seen 'Wuthering Heights' ten times. I'm a romantic."Albert Brooks on Johnny Depp
"You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."Albert Brooks on Steve Martin
"This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country."Albert Brooks on Clint Eastwood
"Movies can and do have tremendous influence in shaping young lives in the realm of entertainment towards the ideals and objectives of normal adulthood."Albert Brooks on Walt Disney
"I think anger and laughter are very close to each other, when you think about it."
"All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that's all people know how to do when they're improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other."
"I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business - I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else's foot."
"Movies are an expensive business."
"Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to be a comedian.'"