"I had a very wise person tell me that he thinks marriage, when you're younger, you keep thinking you can fix things. That's what people do. And you can't really fix anything. It shouldn't be a massive difficult thing every day. Life's difficult enough."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."Albert Brooks on Mignon McLaughlin
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."Albert Brooks on Socrates
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."Albert Brooks on Friedrich Nietzsche
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."Albert Brooks on Oscar Wilde
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without."Albert Brooks on James C. Dobson
"I think anger and laughter are very close to each other, when you think about it."
"All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that's all people know how to do when they're improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other."
"I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business - I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else's foot."
"Movies are an expensive business."
"Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to be a comedian.'"