"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Albert Einstein on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Albert Einstein on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Albert Einstein on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Albert Einstein on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Albert Einstein on Elbert Hubbard
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
"Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking."
"Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age."
"Perfection of means and confusion of ends seem to characterize our age."
"It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely."