"I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes."
"Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future."Alexei Sayle on John F. Kennedy
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself."Alexei Sayle on Mark Twain
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."Alexei Sayle on Plato
"If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand."Alexei Sayle on Milton Friedman
"It is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything."Alexei Sayle on Joseph Stalin
"As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death."
"I've accentuated the look over the years. As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death."
"If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift' they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains' they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.'"
"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs."