"One has a greater sense of degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."Alice James on Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."Alice James on Groucho Marx
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."Alice James on Erma Bombeck
"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."Alice James on Plato
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."Alice James on Erma Bombeck
"The success or failure of a life, as far as posterity goes, seems to lie in the more or less luck of seizing the right moment of escape."
"How sick one gets of being 'good,' how much I should respect myself if I could burst out and make everyone wretched for twenty-four hours embody selfishness."