"My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening."
"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife."Alice Roosevelt Longworth on Barbara de Angelis
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy if not, you'll become a philosopher."Alice Roosevelt Longworth on Socrates
"It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."Alice Roosevelt Longworth on Robert Frost
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."Alice Roosevelt Longworth on Groucho Marx
"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."Alice Roosevelt Longworth on Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay."
"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."