"Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."
"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife."Ambrose Bierce on Barbara de Angelis
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy if not, you'll become a philosopher."Ambrose Bierce on Socrates
"It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."Ambrose Bierce on Robert Frost
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."Ambrose Bierce on Groucho Marx
"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."Ambrose Bierce on Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age."
"Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age."
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."
"Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art."