"Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage."
"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five."Ambrose Bierce on Steven Wright
"Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery."Ambrose Bierce on Calvin Coolidge
"A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman."Ambrose Bierce on Robert Frost
"Make crime pay. Become a lawyer."Ambrose Bierce on Will Rogers
"Justice in the life and conduct of the State is possible only as first it resides in the hearts and souls of the citizens."Ambrose Bierce on Plato
"Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age."
"Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age."
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."
"Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art."