"My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper."
"A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act."Amy Sedaris on Mahatma Gandhi
"God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.'"Amy Sedaris on Billy Graham
"We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won't need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don't fire cannons to call attention to their shining- they just shine."Amy Sedaris on Dwight L. Moody
"Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song."Amy Sedaris on Pope John Paul II
"The great gift of Easter is hope - Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God, in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love, which nothing can shake."Amy Sedaris on Basil Hume
"My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him."
"David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends."
"People who shop in health food stores never look healthy."
"I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid."
"I swear I want to be a food model."