"I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you."
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."Andy Rooney on Albert Einstein
"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."Andy Rooney on Martin Luther King, Jr.
"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free."Andy Rooney on Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return."Andy Rooney on Maya Angelou
"I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe."Andy Rooney on Dalai Lama
"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."
"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."