"I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you."
"When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life now that I am old I know that it is."Andy Rooney on Oscar Wilde
"A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money."Andy Rooney on John Ruskin
"Money has never made man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more of it one has the more one wants."Andy Rooney on Benjamin Franklin
"The lack of money is the root of all evil."Andy Rooney on Mark Twain
"Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it."Andy Rooney on Mark Twain
"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."
"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."