"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."Andy Rooney on Mark Twain
"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax."Andy Rooney on Albert Einstein
"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."Andy Rooney on Colin Powell
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."Andy Rooney on Dale Carnegie
"If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance."Andy Rooney on Abraham Lincoln
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."
"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."
"The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread."