"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."Andy Rooney on Abraham Lincoln
"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."Andy Rooney on Winston Churchill
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."Andy Rooney on Robert A. Heinlein
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."Andy Rooney on Sigmund Freud
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."Andy Rooney on Josh Billings
"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."
"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."