"The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread."
"An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law."Andy Rooney on Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized."Andy Rooney on Albert Einstein
"Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized."Andy Rooney on Albert Einstein
"Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery."Andy Rooney on Malcolm X
"If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem."Andy Rooney on Abraham Lincoln
"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."
"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."