"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
"God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well."Art Buchwald on Voltaire
"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."Art Buchwald on Oprah Winfrey
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."Art Buchwald on Jim Valvano
"I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity."Art Buchwald on Eleanor Roosevelt
"The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance."Art Buchwald on Brian Tracy
"Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got."
"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."