"When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing."
"Sometimes I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be."Aziz Ansari on Angelina Jolie
"If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you'll be amazed at the results."Aziz Ansari on George S. Patton
"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."Aziz Ansari on Harry S. Truman
"If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you."Aziz Ansari on Les Brown
"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."Aziz Ansari on Conan O'Brien
"Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true."
"Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that."